Namaste and Happy MLK Jr. Day!!
What exactly are we celebrating? Someone who stood up for what is right? Someone who brought social change? A Disruptive Leader? YES! and more. For me today, MLK represents being able to answer the question "Why?" ...as in, "Why do I do what I do?"
Today I am finally STARTING to feel settled into our new home. We moved the first part of November, then cruised over to Indiana to offer the latest EARTH Module. December brought the busy holiday season. Now, half-way through January, I am looking around and thinking... Where am I? What am I doing? And most importantly...WHY? It's like a little reboot for the hard-drive.
Because I am tired.
...and realizing the deep, deep sacrifice it takes to do this PhD thing. It's crazy! I have been in school for so long now, that I don't even remember what it's like to NOT be in school. Really.
Don't get me wrong, I feel grateful—blessed and excited—like Cinderella at the ball—to be working on (what is to me) one of the most valuable topics; to have had access to such brilliant minds—professors who have supported my ideas—and to literally feel mySelf expand deeper, higher and all around, on every level. What a gift!!
But when my 3-year old daughter looks outside at the sunshine and says, "Mom, let's go outside and play!" and I—instead of jumping up and saying, "YES!!"—Instead of grabbing our coats and our snow-shoes and heading straight for the door—I hesitate....
What has to be sacrificed to fit it all in: A clean home? Meditation? Exercise? A social life? Sex? Sleep? ...Outdoor play with my quickly growing/changing only child?
Because lately it seems like every day, something has to give. Lately it seems like the sacrifice is just too great, and I find myself on a tightrope, juggling all my most precious things.
So this is when I ask myself, WHY AM I DOING THIS, ANYWAY!!?
And I remember, that I have a dream:
I believe that we don't HAVE energy, but we ARE energy. I believe that energy is ultimately LOVE. Which means that our true nature is infinite LOVE. I believe that our yoga is not something we do, but something that we dare to LIVE every single day of our lives...as LOVE. I believe that we each have an authentic and truly amazing dream of reminding each other of our true nature as infinite LOVE... and that when we are empowered to remember ourselves and remind each other, the impact on this world is transformational and real.
And I have a dream that if I stand firm in my dream—if I stay the course with honesty, humility and authenticity—you will stand firm in your dream too. Then we learn and grow together in LOVE.
So, I close my eyes and take a breath. I breathe in. I breathe out. I grab my coat, my boots, and hat...and all of Marley's things too. I step out into the sunshine with my daughter. I breathe in. I breathe out, as I walk this high wire, juggling...adjusting and readjusting to keep my balance, one moment at a time.
Every day, something has to give. But for this moment I am infinite, and my most precious thing is LOVE.
...and that is why I do what I do.
What is your dream?